She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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