did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
