I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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