that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
