I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
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And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
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He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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