Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
