Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
we should paint friendship bongs
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
