please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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