I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize