He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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