Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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