Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
do nipples grow back?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
