his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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