Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
