It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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