Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
as a side note pls kill me
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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