apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
