you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm just crazy horny about you
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
