I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize