dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
40s are totally the cure
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
