And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
