He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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