didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
