Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
