yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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