forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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