he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
