I wish I could teleport
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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