I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Its about making memories worth repressing
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
