Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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