I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
