dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
