Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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