I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
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I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
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I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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