I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
