Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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