did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize