I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
