Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We're too hungover to prance.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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