Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize