Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
