i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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