i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
