Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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