Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You were trust falling into bushes
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
