That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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