found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
