Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
