yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
