Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
These tits shall not be calmed
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
