This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
