Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
it's like iHOP with fire
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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