4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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