We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I'm really busy with my period
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