we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize