Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
