OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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