Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
