Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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