Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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