I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
