Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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