just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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