If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
